It's been 4 days now since we all returned from our "Gay-Away" in the Valley and I am finally ready to do a little blogging on the experience. I've been feeling somewhat depressed and deflated since we arrived back to civilization, so it's taken some time to gather my thoughts. I've been telling everyone that I feel like someone who was stranded on a desert island and after having been rescued, I'm having a difficult time amalgamating back into society!

It was a relaxing and fun-filled weekend with the most fantastic group of guys you could imagine. We spent our frist night at Bev and Peter's (Stephen's parents) farmhouse in the Valley and then two nights at Trout Lake in their cottage. The weather turned out to be wonderful despite forecasts of gloom that I expected would keep us inside and give us all a nice case of the "shining." But instead, the sun shone almost the entire weekend and all we got was a nice case of the "Bonnie Raitts." Even the little rain we did have on the first night was more than welcomed as we sat in the outdoor hot tub at the farmhouse drinking champagne by a crackling fire as Madonna played in the background ... can you say HEAVEN! Stephen's parents were the best - they fed us a wonderful dinner and breakfast, provided us with robes for our wet and wild adventures, and put up with our loud voices and drunkenness. Stephen's dad even spent extra time getting two fresh flower arrangements ready for us ... now that's a man after a homo's heart! Bev and Peter were just fantastic as was their home ... It was quite a great way to start our weekend.

On Saturday we went to the cottage after a fun trip to the grocery store. The rest of the weekend consisted of sail boats & rock gardens; BBQs; Wally; Harry Potter fires; fashion shows in cottage couture; moulton cakes; drinks (and a lack thereof); Little Britain, Elvira and Drawn Together; MadonnaPod; Danger Bay phone; SCRAM; Can Can Can; dance parties on the roof; Bonnie Raitt; showtime Synergy; Patrick as She-Ra; Poo Jesus (wish we had Holy Jesus); peanut butter cookies that appear as if from no where (thanks Jeff); one time at Jay Wells'; Spiderman kisses; scraping the bowl; tapping the bowl; and a true blue sitcom ending! You really would have had to be there to understand what most of that means, but if you would like a more detailed description with visuals, just click here and pray to Jesus.

Throughout the weekend I wrote down some memorable quotes and I still have not recovered all of the pieces of paper ... lord knows what the clean up crew at that Wendy's will find written on the back of a liquor store receipt! Regardless, here is the best of the best in quotable quotes from the 24th of May Gay-Away:

> "I brought my piano book" ... "Really? I was totally hoping you'd play a song this weekend!"
> "I brought papers ... and I brought some needles too!"
> "No, you have to leave the peel on because the rough edges make it feel
good!"
> "I don't recall ordering poo on my face."
> "$8.99 at Old Navy ... it's the new Winners!"
> "One time at Jay Wells'..."
> "Sounds like you got too much stuff on the go Charles."
> "What? You all don't have memory boxes?"
> "Rocky, I didn't know you were a pillow biter."
> "Poo Jesus is like anal sex... it's good as long as you don't smell it
... and you might need some ice."
> "P.S. I'm the camp whore, I've been in everyone's back seat!"

Can you guess where Julie is in this pic?

• "Come out of the closet Anne Frank, the war is over!"
• "Marcus, I'm ready to talk to you now!"
• "I just farted ... sorry, I had a date last night."
• "Look, I'm an L!" - Jeff while wearing Patrick's shoes.
• "From the rock, straight to your cock."
• "He CANNOT stay here, he'll rob Andrew blind!"

In all seriousness, I had forgotten how many great songs INXS has, and JD definitely gives them new life. The show opened with a counting clock ticking down the minutes and seconds to the bands appearance... it really got the anxious crowd all rilled up. And then the curtain fell and we saw the band standing on the most brightly lit stage I've ever witnessed. A silver glittery curtain was the backdrop and his hotness was standing, legs spread eagle in a hot red shirt, black jacket and tight black velvet pants, sunglasses on and a lit cigarette in his mouth! From that moment on I was in love ... well, in lust, but you get the picture. I thought I wouldn't know the songs, but the INXS oldies, Pretty Vegas, & Afterglow made up the set list along with only a few I didn't recognize that came from the new album. I'd say my favourite part of the show (other than when he simulated masturbating while lying on his back and the four or five times he put his hands down his pants) was when he did a rendition of Amazing Grace with the two diva back up singers. He dedicated it to his "Papa" ... did I mention I LOVE HIM?!

He showed some real pride for his home province when he took a NS flag from the crowd and regularly waved it in the air, danced with it down the back of his pants and rubbed it on his crotch. GOD BLESS NOVA SCOTIA and may FORTUNE shine upon ME!

Wolfgang Puck catered the event and the food was just amazing. On the way out the door they gave us our "Warholized" pictures as a momento of the evening along with a cute frame. And just when I thought that the night could not get any better, while walking to our next reception, who do I see but NATE BERKUS talking to two beautiful girls while standing outside a swanky Chicago restaurant waiting to get in a cab. I was going to scream but thought the better of it at the last moment. I may have a new hate on for Oprah but Nate should not suffer for that! It was a night to remember, no doubt about it!